FEAR

TO THE POINT NEWS LETTER

FEAR

So, I was listening to a client discuss the dreams they recently had at night this past week.  There seemed to be a common thread. It was one side of his family and it was fear based. It was a very specific fear based around health.  In life his mom was a hypochondriac.  Often people with hypochondria will run to the doctors over nothing and live in fear that they are on deaths door all the while completely ignoring a real health issue. 

We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge.  I heard Dr. Phil McGraw say that many years ago when watching his show and it has become my go to phrase, because…well it’s the truth.

Emotions are signs, signals from within.  They come from thought patterns of beliefs.  When you are feeling an emotion that is negative, it is like a child having a temper tantrum.  More than the thing it wants or is throwing a fit about, it wants to know you see it, hear it and accept it. So, don’t run from your fears, turn and face them. Figure out how to resolve them. Have an internal dialogue with them.

In this example I suggested for him to say to himself, “Heh…I see you. I know you are afraid of this and it gives you anxiety, but I am here for you and we can face this challenge. We are doing the best we can to ensure our health and well-being. We have our own destiny. We are strong and healthy. Thanks for letting me know how you feel, but I have this, and I have you. Its ok. I see you; I hear you and all is well.”

Of course, he is healthy. Extremely health conscious. He eats well, he exercises and meditates.  If he wasn’t, I would have suggested he make a health plan.  Listening to those fear-based dreams as signals are here to help us to create a change.  This client takes care of his health partly because he fears ending up like his mother and some of his family members.  We have to change the reason he is healthy to one of enjoying taking care of himself instead of doing so because of fear. 

This same day this client’s son woke up middle of the night with an anxiety dream.  Feeling as if energy and thought and language was moving too fast and out of his control.  The same applies to him. I suggested speaking to those feeling aspects of his being. Address it, have compassion for it, and then show a different reality and way of thinking and feeling about it. Assure yourself you are okay and capable.

I know it may sound like you are crazy speaking to yourself as if you have different personalities. We all have different aspects of ourselves. We all have self-speak. The inner voice and voices are going on whether we admit it or not. If you run from it, it will manifest in the world louder until you address it.

I was taught in Yogic Eastern tradition that when we heal something within ourselves, we energetically aid that healing for generations. That is a beautiful concept. No wonder the man I was working with was dreaming of family members some of whom have passed. No wonder his son also had anxiety.  Fear comes in many forms.  It rules the first chakra.  It is there to protect us.  Fight or flight.  Flight (fear) can also manifest as frozen energy like staying hidden and frozen to protect us, like an opossum playing dead.  This can be a paralyzing emotion when we don’t address it.  But its significance is protection.

The problem is our negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings have gotten out of control. We have to retrain ourselves and we do that by addressing them with compassion. By the way, it’s okay if you aren’t perfect! Set up a strategy to check in with yourself morning and night.  You may have not caught a negative reaction or fear-based way of acting in the moment but in setting up intention in the morning and using contemplation retrospectively in the evening you can begin to bring awareness to where your emotions are running rampant.  Without a plan of checking in and asking yourself about your day then nothing will likely change.  Did you have any negative emotions that threw you off center?  If so, then have that internal dialogue with them.

It takes time & fine tuning, like bringing a cloth bag shopping.  At first you forgot or maybe you did not care, then you left it in your car , then you put it in the front seat and forgot, then you forgot but remembered before you entered the store but was too tired to turn around. The next time you did turn around mid-parking lot and walked right back to your car and got it. Yeah, you! You did it.

It takes time to change a pattern so be patient with yourself, but do set up times to check in with yourself morning and night to see where you were in some form of fear, how you dealt with it and what you can do to change it.

Address with compassion. Respond don’t React.

Practice Long Deep Breathing with equal length inhales and exhales. Then gently massage your ears  from top to bottom tugging downward on the lobe.  Rub your hands together to create warmth. Then place them on the area of  your back where your kidneys are and give yourself an affirmation. I hear you, I see you, all is well.  Do this for even one minute daily. It is an energetic way to help with fear and anxiety. 

Blessings,

Hanorah